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Ok, before you start
writing that hate mail because of something we said that may have
offended you, I suggest you study up on some of the more popular people
and phrases we mention on the show. If you're not sure what we're
talking about when we speak in "code" then this is the place
for you. Half the time, we don't even realize that we're saying
things that some people may not understand. Hopefully, this glossary
will help you figure everything out just so you can keep up. If you need
us to add a name or a term, just ask! Anything written in the first
person is by Candy.
>> producer
ethan
Producer
Ethan is the newest addition to the Succubus Club family since our
move to KLBC. He'll be with us during every show, often times
answering the phone for us and doing all sorts of other cool stuff.
He's only been with us a few weeks and he's already gotten fan mail!
You go girl!
>> gm mike
Mike is
the former General Manager of K-Beach and all around slut. The
rat bastard barely comes by to visit us anymore, but we're not bitter
about it or anything. He's loved by many, so I guess he just got
too popular for us or something. Sheesh..
>>
charles
The fourth
and final member of the OG K-Beach family (Kitty, GM Mike and myself).
He often arrives at the station half-way through our show and you'll
usually hear us greet him with our affectionate nickname for him,
"Char-less!" He's my previous Assistant Music Director
and currently hosts
The
Indie Shop, a great Brit pop and rock show that airs after us
at 8pm PT.
>>
carey
The
Succubus Club official Private Investigator/News Correspondent. She is
the wonderful listener who provides us with so many of the spoilers
and information on the show!
>>
shaun
Shaun the
Pie Guy is a dear friend to the show and actually took over my job for
a few weeks!
>>
punker
mike
Not to be
confused with GM Mike, Punker Mike is our favorite young stud (don't
tell Jeremy) and former DJ at the station. Hands down the
funniest stud on the planet, Punker Mike used to come by on Wednesdays
to visit and make fun of us and man the Club chat room. His
class schedule won't let him do that this season, but I'm sure he'll
be in touch. Oh yeah, sorry to disappoint ladies, but he's got a
girl.
>>
jeremy
Previous
Program Director at the station and spikey-haired piece of cute.
I just don't know if it's possible for anyone to be more lovable
(don't tell Punker Mike) than Remy. Oh, and did I mention that
he's Canadian? Mmmm... bacon.
>>
john
Kitty's SO
and kickass photographer.
>>
faith
vader
Will we ever
get to use this again? Sigh. This is a name that, as far
as we can tell, came from Kitty and her friends, which refers to
Faith's turn over to the dark side.
>>
ewan
Refers to
Ewan McGregor. Kitty lusts after him. She goes into heat
whenever she starts talking about him.
>> ice pick in the
eye
Short, and simple.
When we had Drew Greenberg on the show the first time, there were some
new listeners who didn't know who we were or what our style was.
They listened to the show and proceeded to comment about us on a message
board. One comment in particular that we noticed was someone
saying that we laughed so much that they wanted to take an ice pick and
shove it into their eye/head/ear region. We've never forgotten
that and it tends to come up now and again.
>> faith is
SOOOO hot
Sure, an
obvious statement to the naked eye. But where did it come
from? Why is it said as much as it is? And why, oh why is
it used for comedic purposes? Long story short. At the end
of a listener-submitted Kitty Torture, many moons ago, there was a
bonus question. Innocent enough, one would think. But
no. To earn these bonus points, Kitty had to talk (for a full
minute) about how hot Faith was in the particular KT episode.
First words out of her mouth? "Faith is SOOOOO
hot." And a new American catch phrase was born. Now,
whenever there's mention of a bonus question, before it's even asked,
Kitty answers with this.
>> monkey pen
A pen that
I received from a friend of mine has become an unofficial mascot
because it's just so damn cute and is the official pen used during
Kitty Torture to mark which questions Kitty gets right!
>>
behind the scenes
Whenever
we have time before 6pm, we usually turn on the mics and let everyone
at home listen to what goes on "behind the scenes" as we get
ready for any given show. Most people have found that all we do
is talk about nothing during that time, but it's been known to be
somewhat amusing at times. On average, behind the scenes is only
a few minutes before the actual show starts. But there was one
night we did a 45 minute version - so anything's possible.
>> up yours,
____!
We felt
the need to add this after a few select one-time listeners
objected to this term. But it's our bad, we didn't have it in
the glossary to give us the free "don't get all snippy" pass
when we tell various writers, producers, actors or networks where they
can stick it. Long story short, Kitty uses this mostly when
she's slightly perturbed at the state of the buffy/angel nation.
It's meant in jest... mostly. It should be taken as such.
In other words, don't get your panty in a wad over it. It's. A.
Joke.
>> she's
chick and i'm stu
This
reference will most likely fly right over the heads of anyone who
doesn't live in or around the Southern California area. It
refers to the late Chick Hearn and Stu Lantz, the former play-by-play
and color commentators, respectively, of the Los Angeles Lakers.
Kitty uses this phrase to clue people in on our roles on the Club.
Since I tend to know more of the facts and try to keep the show on
track, I'm Chick. Since Kitty adds her colorful flavor and
spices up the show with stories and fun-filled injections of hilarity,
she's Stu. Get it? But we're cuter, damnit.
>> ...bitch
Taken from
Spike, we have a tendency to add it onto way too many of our
sentences, usually those with more than five words. However,
fyi, this is what we refer to as Spike Style when we ask you
guys to "give us reviews of the show, Spike style" to win
our contests. Make a note of it!
>> pie
Sure, it seems
like a simple word with a simple definition, but when put in our
hands, it becomes something else completely. Kitty and I seem to have
a fascination with pie which was only compounded on the day that Shaun
first rolled up to the show and presented us with Hostess fruit-filled
pies as gifts. We do truly believe that the world is a better place
with pie in it. Whether eaten or smeared all over the place, you can't
go wrong with good piece of pie.
>> f-word
You would
think, being on radio, that this is one of those seven dirty words,
right? We wish! We can't even bring ourselves to actually
tell you what this means. We're betting you could figure it out,
though. Let's just say that it's a show on the WB that used to follow Buffy
on Tuesday nights. It's since been exiled to Sundays and returned to
mid-week torture on Wednesdays. We thought we were going to finally be
free of it when Buffy changed networks. But are we?
No! Damn that Angel. What are we to do? We
can only avert our eyes for so long! Sigh. Once in a
while, we'll say the word, but rest assured, it hurts us to the very
core of our souls.
>> dawson's
reek
Sorry,
boys!
>> random
thoughts
It would
seem this is self-explanatory, but leave it to me to just ramble on
about it anyway. What started out at 5 minutes between show summaries
a year ago has turned into our favorite part and (from what we've
heard) the most popular part of the show. In this time, we have kitty
torture trivia, spoilers/news/cast appearances, and just about
anything else that pops into our little pea brains. This is where
anything goes.
>> kitty
torture
Though it
SOUNDS cruel, it's truly the juggernaut of our Random Thoughts. I
thought it would be fun to see how much Kitty sucks at trivia, so I
decided to put her through it every week. Kitty has asked for help
from the listeners, but they seem to enjoy listening to her squirm.
Kitty stresses out under the pressure, which is... you know... pretty
funny.
>> yer mom
We can all
thank GM Mike for bringing this now-popular phrase into the K-Beach
offices. Not that he invented it or anything, but once he started
answering questions with "yer mom", Kitty and I just kindof
never let go of it and now it will never go away.
>> the club
Kitty
started using this phrase to as a way to refer to The Succubus Club in
the coolest way possible. Kitty's nothing if not cool. Don't
forget, the first rule of the Succubus Club... don't talk about the
Succubus Club!
>> coffee
and sleep update
Defunct
term. These can be found on old Club shows. What started
as a passing question quickly became a staple. Kitty is a huge coffee
drinker, and when she doesn't have enough in the morning, she's
cranky. And for whatever reason, I never seemed to get much (if any)
sleep on Tuesday nights. When I didn't get at least 5 hours, I was
either a) bitchy b) loopy c) lethargic. It's a crap shoot, really.
Hence, we used to give updates on how many cups of coffee and how much
sleep we had.
>> 2-e wee
Ok, how do
we explain this? During one show, I tried to describe something small,
and Kitty piped in with her word for small, "wee". Since,
over the radio it can be a little hard to understand what certain
words mean, we went on to decipher that this was in fact the "2-e
wee" and not the "1-e we". Since then, it's been used
periodically and continues to be a source of much amusement for both
of us. Aren't you glad you asked?
>> red
sweater and white pants
Yes, an
odd thing to refer to, but it's been done more often than you'd think.
What started as my fashion review of David Boreanaz' appearance on
Conan O'Brien turned into one of Kitty's favorite smackdowns on dear
ol' Dave. He will never live this fashion faux pas down at The Club -
not as long as we have breath in their bodies. If any VIP's are
reading - beware what you wear on talk shows.
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